Ah! I... I... not... really... having... fun... here at boarding school.
Well, for example, I was late to several meals and they had to make special ones for me... and you're not supposed to do that.
It's really hard adjusting to all this shit. And now I'm crying again.
I just want to shout "I didn't know! It's not my fault!"
And I'm pretty good with the small stuff, like taking my hair out of the shower, which NO ONE else does, and it's all grody in the shower... It's got it's own wig! I mean, come on people!
It's kinda like I want a reward or something, to say "Yes, I saw you do that good thing, and I know you're trying. And I know it's hard for you to change everything that you know and change who you are just so you can live in peace with some other completely different person you just met. Here you go, here's a cookie!" *hugs* "Oh yeah, and I love you!"
I feel so unloved here, like I'm always doing something wrong and I'm getting in trouble (yes, they do get upset. And when they do, it seems like they are so fed up with you) and everyone's laughing at me. And everyone else knows exactly what to do and their not messing up like me. There have been so many times that I had to try SO hard just to not cry in front of everyone. I feel so bad and guilty, like I'm making everyone go out of their way for me. And I feel like I'm getting in everyone's way and I'm making life harder for everyone else. And here I'm crying, and no one's there to comfort me. My friends are so far away, and no one here really cares about me. I feel so lost.
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4 comments:
WTF!!!!!
who the hell is anonymous?! what an insensitive thing to be going on about . who cares about how you earned money when someone is trying to deal with life?!
Go spend your 900$ already... go spend it far, far away. *grumble* jerk... stupid adds...
Lilith, this looks familier. hehe!
I often take entries from my journal and put them on my blog. soon i'm going to post some poetry and pictures too. the pictures are from my photo classes so i developed them and everything!
Yes, I know. I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Teehee. Wups. Oh well. Well, now you've run out of your bobbin. And that also may seem familiar (that's how it's ACTUALLY spelled ;) b/c you just said it. I'm at your house right now, and I'm gonna give you a big hug in a few seconds after you've gotten off the phone with that guy you met in France. :D
Thank you for backing me up.
With that loser above you.
I love you.
KISS!
Hun, you can trash anonymous's reply. if you read your blog while logged in you can click on the trash icon beneath each reply and make it go away. This anony is an a**, and is simply spamming.
Now, remember that Elo and I are always with you in spirit. Your peers at school may be irritating, but we're always rooting for you. We know you can do it.
hello your furpiness,
i 'm sorry you're lonely and sad. it was different for me. we had so much scheduled that we didn't have time alone and i guess i got caught up in it. i'm glad its 50 years later and i can read your blog, because i called my dad once a week on friday from a payphone (reversed the charges) so we didn't communicate much.
anyway, we had classes in the morning and sports in the afternoon. the day started with breakfast, then CHURCH. the school was all boys, all boarders. my previous schools didn't prepare me that well, so i struggled (i entered as a sophomore). i didn't have a girlfriend so there wasn't much outside school for me. anyway, i'll tell you more if you want or whatever...
love
his daddiness
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